Male/Female Friendship: Not A Myth

Not all men and women are more than friends. In fact, many of them aren’t. You wouldn’t get this if you were to read any books or watch any TV or films. The entertainment industry on the whole seems to think that unless one half of the friendship is gay/lesbian, it’s inevitably going to end in a relationship. It’s not. Men and women are completely capable of maintaing happy platonic relationships with one another, and it’s time that was reflected in what we read and watch.

Frankly, I’m tired of friendships between those of the opposite sex blossoming into something more all the time. It’s predictable. It’s unrealistic. It’s actually kind of sexist. Why is there this belief that men and women can’t enjoy each others company without the woman developing romantic feelings and the man wanting to get it on? It’s a plot line that has been done to death and leaves everyone unsatisfied. You’re not writing Monica’s and Chandler’s, you’re writing Ross’s and Rachel’s. There are only so many instances in which this plot line works, and they’ve all been done before.

The best friend becoming the lover isn’t the worst offender in this category, though. The best friend who suddenly realizes he loves her when she’s got a new man, is. This is infuriating. So she was normal till another male walked into the picture and now you’re jealous and you’re pining and woe is you. In the end you’ll loose your friend because you acted like a prat. Banish this story line. Remove this from your plot. Your female characters aren’t chew toys for your male characters to fight over.

I want a book where the male best friend is supportive and develops no romantic feelings for the leading lady while she’s meeting the man of her dreams. I want a TV show where the male best friend remains nothing more than a best friend. I want a film where a male and a female develop a friendship that doesn’t end in sex with each other. I’m not saying it hasn’t been done before, it has, but it hasn’t been done enough.

Stop leading people to believe that those of the opposite sex have to be interested in the same sex to have a platonic relationship. Your gay and lesbian characters can be more than ‘friend’ props to fill in for the lack of opposite gender friends. Give them a bigger role. Throw some straight or bisexual guys in there that aren’t assholes and aren’t interested in your leading lady. Diversify. Mix it up. Let the world know men and women can be just friends, no ifs, ands, or buts.


2 thoughts on “Male/Female Friendship: Not A Myth

  1. I think there will always be something sexual whenever you meet someone of the sex you’re attracted to. I just think we humans are capable of getting over it, and still enjoy the other person’s presence. I have a strong friendship with the girl I’m in love with, and she’s currently with someone. We still meet each other. Even if you told me she’ll never be with me, I’ll still hold on to that friendship because she’s a great person.


  2. It would be nice to see more diverse friendships between men and women in books and movies. I don’t usually have luck with male friendships because feelings usually get hurt. But I do like having male friends. I just wish it would be easier for the friendships to be completely platonic.


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